I stumbled into a courtroom today that was hosting a triple-murder trial that has been an ongoing headline-grabber here in Bangor. Since I was looking for another case, I spent only a few minutes listening to the witness who was giving her testimony at the time.
When I got home, however, I found out more information about the case. It has tragedy written all over it.
Nearly two years ago, three 20-somethings were shot and killed and their car was set ablaze and abandoned in a remote parking lot, apparently the victims of a drug-deal gone bad allegedly at the hands of two out-of-staters.
What jumped out at me the most, however, was the the story of one of the victims, Nicolle Lugdon. Only 24 at the time, her life was marred by tragedy from beginning to end. The Bangor Daily News details a little bit of her story (warning: graphic description):
Lugdon overcame tragedy throughout her life, according to previous BDN reports.
When she was just 2 years old, her grandmother Leanna Lugdon and uncle Theodore “Robbie” Lugdon were killed in a house fire in Bangor.
Lugdon’s mother died of a heroin overdose in March 2002. Just five months later, Lugdon’s father, Michael Melendez, killed her grandmother Linda Melendez. Both were heroin addicts and the killing resulted from an argument over drugs.
Nicolle Lugdon was in the house and hiding in a second-floor room with her 2-year-old brother while her father stabbed her grandmother 36 times. Michael Melendez is now serving a life sentence in Pennsylvania, BDN reports state.
“Nikki really had nobody in her life,” said Sutherland, a close friend of Lugdon’s who considered her a sister. “She heard her father kill her grandmother and still came out as one of the happiest people alive.”
Sutherland first met Lugdon when they were 7.
Lugdon spent many of her teenage years in foster care, said Kristina Sprague, who said Lugdon was her best friend.
“When she was living in Fort Kent [with her foster family], she did amazing,” said Sprague, 25, of Bradford. “She was going to college, she was working with disabled children, she tried very hard to be a good person up there, but as soon as she came back down this way, she lost it all.”
Lugdon was using pharmaceutical drugs, heroin and cocaine, both Sprague and Sutherland said.
Lugdon, who had a 2-year-old daughter, lost primary custody of her daughter to the girl’s biological father last October as Lugdon became more and more involved with drugs.
“When she lost her daughter, that’s when she started losing control of things,” Sprague said of Lugdon.
Her drug use changed Lugdon, her friends said.
The word “tragedy” is an understatement – and the person who says she merely got what she deserved in dying a druggie life is not a Christian.
But this is what came home to me as I was reading Nicolle’s story: what am I doing for the Nicolle Lugdons of the world – someone whose upbringing and life circumstances are about as stark a contrast from mine? Sure, I preach my sermons. I write my books. I visit my church members who have cancer. I lead out in Prayer Meeting. I chair Board Meetings.
And when I get home, I kick up my feet and watch the Bruins play in the playoffs, feeling that I deserve a little break after dealing with all the “stress” I encountered throughout my day. After all, being a pastor is a tough job.
Meanwhile, the Nicolle Lugdons of the world go to their graves, with “nobody in their lives.”
Incidentally, I preached a sermon this past week in my continuing series on Hosea that coincides exactly with my experience today. The sermon was called “And the Band Played On” (which you can listen to here). It detailed how Israel was far from God and ignoring the needs of the people all around them, and yet the “band played on,” as though life was just business as usual. God finally had to bring their feasts and celebrations and Sabbaths and parties to an end.
What about us?
Sure, I can humor myself into thinking that raising principled children in the fear of the Lord will go a long way in curbing what ails this world. And it will. But that doesn’t do anything for the people on 1st and 2nd Streets in Bangor, or Nicolle Lugdon, whose life came to an end while looking for a high and a way to escape what plagued her.
All this reminds me of the one of the greatest opening paragraphs in all of literature, written by the eminent Abraham Heschel in his magnum opus The Prophets:
What manner of man is the prophet? A student of philosophy who turns from the discourses of the great metaphysicians to the orations of the prophets may feel as if he were going from the realm of the sublime to an area of trivialities. Instead of dealing with the timeless issues of being and becoming, of matter and form, of definitions and demonstrations, he is thrown into orations about widows and orphans, about the corruption of judges and affairs of the market place. Instead of showing us a way through the elegant mansions of the mind, the prophets take us to the slums (p. 3)
And so I again ask the question – and would encourage you to do the same: what am I doing for the Nicolle Lugdons of the world?
What is my church doing?
Dan Kelly said:
And the answer is: Virtually nothing.
Why?
Probably fear. Fear that we don’t know what TO do. Or, how to do it.
Now that may be a conundrum. Why? Because we don’t know how to live the righteous life either but we preach the righteous life and how we can depend on the work of the Holy Spirit in us to accomplish what we cannot do for ourselves. And we truly believe THIS, because it’s scriptural!
OK. If the Spirit of God will THAT for us, why do we fear that He will not work through us to minister to the Nikkie Lugdens in all our towns, villages and cities?
Aaron said:
Right on, Shawn… This is what I struggle with as well. My small group/bible study is always trying to figure out how we can be more “missional” in the Bangor community… Let’s team up!
newenglandpastor said:
I like the way you think, Aaron. I’ve always had this conviction in the back of my mind that I’d like to do more. My problem is I really don’t know what to do. I don’t even know where to start.
But, yeah, let’s see how we can make a mark on Bangor. It’s a small city, but the need is incredible (greatly disproportionate to the population).
AL said:
Shawn,
Where to begin? It may seem overly simplistic, but you can only meet the “Nicole Ludgen’s” of the world where they live their lives. And as you know, that’s not usually within the precincts of the church.
When and wherever you find them, the only real approach takes as much time as it will patience. The outsized sense of the need to belong, to be accepted, and to be appreciated can only be fulfilled with a long series of infusions of love that Jesus alone can meet, and supply, and, has promised to give those who will join Him in work as the Savior of all men.
As a 5th gen SDA, (by my mother’s adoption no less), I was sharing with my wife just this last Sabbath about the circumstances of my own birth and experience of infancy. By no means was it as tragic as Nicole’s, but my life was impacted to a degree that I could not determine, and still wrestle with.
I was born 11 months after a miscarriage. There were 3 sons born to the marriage within a 36 month period, including another miscarriage in between the 2nd and 3rd son, not to mention 3 attempted suicides by my mother during that time . In addition, my father was a ministerial intern (graduated from EMC), at birth, and lost his job with the church when I was a year old. How does a child in such an environment adjust? The only answer I have found is The Everlasting Gospel. It is the only thing I know that holds me in the midst of all the chaos, and gives me hope. I know I belong, I’ve been accepted, and I’m appreciated in the sense of God’s faith in / extended to me, and I know that my heavenly Father has a home for me in His family in His eternal kingdom.
I’ve done alcohol, drugs, and sex for over 25 years of my 59 years 12 days of my life, and all I can say is that it was the love of a mother, who constantly prayed for me, helped me when I should have been well on my own 2 feet, and the never ending pursuit of love by my Savior. My life now is a living testimony, an open book to anybody who struggles anywhere near the way I have, do, and quite possibly will. What Christ Jesus has done for me, I know He will do for anybody else who will let Him.
The best place to start might be with those who sit in your pews. What traumas have they encountered, and experienced, that has impacted their lives in ways they know not? To a certain degree, I believe that the unknowns are the triggers of the fear that Dan Kelly mentioned. Why don’t we know what to do? Are we loving others to the degree that Jesus loves us? If so, Amen. If not, maybe that is due to the fact that we have not yet seen to what degree we need His love. Mary and Simon is a classic Bible example.
I will close this post with this, 22 years ago, an Evangelist from the Southwest Regional Conference impacted my life beyond measure in a matter of 2 hours. He simply sat with me, asked me questions, and listened to me as though me and my life mattered to him. He had just so happened to be a classmate that graduated with my father at EMC, but that was not the reason for the time he gave me. And at that time, I had run away from Southern California to El Paso,Texas to try and find some sense of balance in my life. I joined the church for the first time for myself (before the interview). And no, I did not stop doing drugs, alcohol, and illicit sex for another 13 years all together. But I will never forget that Saturday night when the preacher sat with me and invested his time, interest, and attention towards me, when I been starving for a love that would not let me go.
Please pardon the lengthy post, and thank you for the time, the space, and the article.
Nichole said:
Their are all kinds of”Nichole’s” in Bangor Maine,and I’m one of them I would love to be able to sit with a man of god and talk to him,if you would be so kind and get ahold of me,I knew Nichole,but I was closer with her mother,Staci,She was a great beautiful person!! Let’s get us some help
Carolyn said:
One of the reasons is that we all gather in “safe?” Adventist communities and associate with other Adventists and have no idea of the pain and brokenness around us. We do nothing for the Nikkie Lugdens out there. If you can get something going Shawn, I will move to Maine and help.
weezy8150 said:
Carolyn, there is a newer ministry here that is helping now….please check the website for City Reach Bangor, and their testimonies on video there from recovering addicts. They gather downtownBangor in pickering square thurs evenings at 630 and sunday 10 am at the BARN in Brewer. They are doing powerful life changing miracles for God’s glory with the addicts….I hope you can come see.
Kristina said:
Hi, im kristina. I dealt with the drama from back home about saying what I did to the paper. Even tho its true. What the paper didnt say is that she was my best friend bc we stuck side by side threw it all til a few mths towards the end when I became pregnant and she continued on. Clean and sober and living my life with my husband and two beautiful boys now. Everyone back home thought of me as a monsterbc I said the truth, I didnt lie I didnt say I didnt do drugs and I didnt say I was a great person, her and I did some pretty aweful things together but either way we still were there for eachother. Ive gotten peace and unfortunatly I couodnt do the same for my friend, shes the one who made me go home and tell me shed b there to visit when she could while I was prefnant and alone and detoxing. But I did it, cold turkeyand have a healthy baby boy to boot. The trial will only get worse bc of what others habe to say now not what I said as the first to step up and admit whom my sisterhad become. Butno matter the drugs I knew her b4 and in my heartshe will always be my sister and bestfriend.
Barbara Ford said:
Pastor, We are indeed something! The Shepherd’s Godparent Home of Bangor, Maine has added a new program for new parenting mothers “Nikki’s Hope”. Nicole was one of our girls. Praising God that she found salvation while in our home. I would love to talk to you more about this. 949-2273, Barbara Ford, Executive Director,
Deborah Jacobs said:
Thank you for asking the question, Pastor! It is that question that will lead some of us on the journey of our lives with God if we are willing to become part o the answer!
I believe that the simple command of Jesus which says, “GO into all the world” is the key.
Too often we wait for the Nicolle Lugdon’s of the world to come to us, to come to our churches — but they rarely do.
This is why in recent years I have decided, moved by the compassion of God & led by the Spirit of God, to “GO” into my local correctional facility (jail) so that I might come to know, to understand, to love, & to reach broken people like Nicolle.
There are too many of them out there, & not enough of us who are even willing to reach out.
If anyone wants to know more about how to begin, please contact me. My name is Deborah Jacobs and I am with Straight Ahead Ministries of Maine, 692-4547, djacobs@straightaheadd.org.
One of our aims is to have a ministry presence in every correctional facility in the State of Maine, just so we can build a bridge to the Nicolle’s of this world, as Jesus did when He came to live & die on this Earth for the likes of us…
Robin Chamberlain said:
Thank you for the expression of compassion and questioning us as you question yourself. There is an international movement of the church and community called Safe Families for Children(SFFC) which helps us to practice Biblical hospitality, loving our neighbors. There is an SFFC site in Bangor! You can learn more at http://www.Safe-families.org.
weezy8150 said:
There is a new powerful ministry addressing the needs of our addicts in Bangor. City Reach Bangor, has a young, energetic staff, some from local bible colleges, some recovering addicts who have been set free from the bondage of addiction and are teaching others how to let God do the same for them. Please go to the City Reach Bangor website, and view the testimonies on the videos there…..thurs evenings, they meet in pickering square, or inside the garage if raining. The music is heavenly, the testimonies will have you on the edge of your seats, and what God is doing there is nothing short of miracles every day. Please join and see what God is doing in downtown Bangor.
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